The Ozine Team went out to attend a thanksgiving mass this morning. Though some didn't make it to the mass, Renja and Rye still managed to follow us. We ate, played, and ate, watched the movie The Race to the Witch Mountain then played then went home.
I enjoyed and was happy. I enjoyed their company and was really happy to see all of them again. But I don't know why I turned out to be sad at the end of the day. On my way home I realized that I was thinking a lot of things already.
They are right, Reality is back. Tomorrow is gonna be Monday and the next is gonna be a Tuesday. A full load of work again at our office.
I think I'm missing a lot of things for me to cope up with them smoothly. Is that because I'm so naive? Inept of a lot of things? and so satisfied to what is happening to me right now without me thinking of what else I really wanted for myself alone? I'm starting to think of letting myself learn a lot of things now. Things that they know which I am supposed to know also. There are a lot of things that they can share in talks and that always makes me think of what I can share and what I am good at.
My mind now goes like saying, "I think there are still a lot of things outside that you can learn and know rather than just making yourself boxed inside your house doing your so old daily routine."
I think my mind's right. I always let myself believe that I will just be fine staying at home. But now you may ask. "How about my growth as a person? Growth in regards to being part of a social environment?" Duke, my Asus Notebook, helps me learn a lot here at home, Duke somehow lessen my struggle of coping up when it comes to anime and stuff like that.
I know the reason of posting this is really too shallow. But to think of what kind of environment I am having now whenever I'm outside this boxed house, I have to cope up. Right?
I was now even thinking of owning a PC for me to be able to learn and jive to their discussions when it comes to online gaming. I don't want to boast something up but what I'm thinking is the relationship that I can mold from doing these.
I must admit. I'm being OPed when they start talking blah blah blah stuffs mostly when it comes to topics where in I know that I can never give my 5 cent. And in this cases, the level of insecurities and what if's heightens.
What I learned now is, If before I'm thinking that I am not good in communicating, I'm wrong. Its just that I don't have anything to share. I believe that its better for me to shut up than making myself a non sense speaker. I know when to say my personal opinions, but for me to talk about something factual and experience based stuff, that's where I'm really lacking.
But on top of what I'm thinking now is, how am I gonna find my match if I'm making myself unmatchable to others. Make sense? So my magic word for the day is going to be.. Coping.
I enjoyed and was happy. I enjoyed their company and was really happy to see all of them again. But I don't know why I turned out to be sad at the end of the day. On my way home I realized that I was thinking a lot of things already.
They are right, Reality is back. Tomorrow is gonna be Monday and the next is gonna be a Tuesday. A full load of work again at our office.
I think I'm missing a lot of things for me to cope up with them smoothly. Is that because I'm so naive? Inept of a lot of things? and so satisfied to what is happening to me right now without me thinking of what else I really wanted for myself alone? I'm starting to think of letting myself learn a lot of things now. Things that they know which I am supposed to know also. There are a lot of things that they can share in talks and that always makes me think of what I can share and what I am good at.
My mind now goes like saying, "I think there are still a lot of things outside that you can learn and know rather than just making yourself boxed inside your house doing your so old daily routine."
I think my mind's right. I always let myself believe that I will just be fine staying at home. But now you may ask. "How about my growth as a person? Growth in regards to being part of a social environment?" Duke, my Asus Notebook, helps me learn a lot here at home, Duke somehow lessen my struggle of coping up when it comes to anime and stuff like that.
I know the reason of posting this is really too shallow. But to think of what kind of environment I am having now whenever I'm outside this boxed house, I have to cope up. Right?
I was now even thinking of owning a PC for me to be able to learn and jive to their discussions when it comes to online gaming. I don't want to boast something up but what I'm thinking is the relationship that I can mold from doing these.
I must admit. I'm being OPed when they start talking blah blah blah stuffs mostly when it comes to topics where in I know that I can never give my 5 cent. And in this cases, the level of insecurities and what if's heightens.
What I learned now is, If before I'm thinking that I am not good in communicating, I'm wrong. Its just that I don't have anything to share. I believe that its better for me to shut up than making myself a non sense speaker. I know when to say my personal opinions, but for me to talk about something factual and experience based stuff, that's where I'm really lacking.
But on top of what I'm thinking now is, how am I gonna find my match if I'm making myself unmatchable to others. Make sense? So my magic word for the day is going to be.. Coping.
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