Rashid Bums Out

Do I have to be limited to what I'm supposed to be talking about? Of what I wanted to tell and what I feel about..? See, I can't really start a post now thinking that I might be saying something which isn't supposed to be seen in here anymore.. dang! its so hard to be the empath type of person.. there!

OTAKU TAIIKI UPDATE THE JULY 4 DATE WAS POSTPONED AND WILL BE MOVED TO A LATER DATE.. PLEASE WAIT FOR FURTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS.. THANKS! Please see http://www.otakuzine-mag.com/ for future updates. Otaku Taiiki at SM Megatrade Hall 3! Another anime event brought to you by the cool makers of Ozine Fests and Anicon! Be there when it happens! ^^

"Things change as we grow older... Feelings, emotions, everything about us. But there are certain things that can never be forgotten nor change. Like how we feel about someone. Maybe for others its easy to just move on and let go. As for me, its a little harder. deattaching yourself from someone who has been a part of your life for years? areyoukiddinme?!?! ofcourse its hard. But I am so trying. And so far I have. i feel like a garter. Running away from something as far as i can, and when i thought i'm far enough, a little tug from the other end and there i go flying back to where i started to run..and then i wake up.. back to reality.. the person isn't there anymore.. just me..trapped in my thoughts..and yes, feelings i used to have..still have." I bumped on to Camille Prats' blog and saw this on one of her posts.. kinda relating.. but no.. it is relating to the kind of situation that I'm having. I guess these lines are right and I agree mostly on the part wh...

And I've becoming so busy online lately.. (less the $$$ though) I've been on my FACEBOOK , PLURK , MULTIPLY and I'm also now on TWITTER and somehow visiting my FRIENDSTER again. I am even now playing two.. yes 2 online games.. Ragnarok and Dragonica! Currently, my Blacksmith on RO is at level 91.. then my Archer on Dragonica at level 18.. I just hope to have a lot of time playing both.. >. Oh yeah, I was with the team nomnom pipz last Saturday Night to chill out even though my nose is really running so bad.. It isn't some sign of AH1N1 ok? just some common colds.. We first went to our fave spot for a round then transferred to Watering Hole to use fafa Ken's card! woohooo~! Another thanks for that! Some pics can be viewed on my Multiply, Photo Page . BTW WAY WE HAVE AN EVENT! PROMOTION TIME! Got bored on your first days of coming back to school? Have you been wanting to attend again an Anime & Gaming Event like what you've been doing last summer? Thinki...

Not that it needs to or it has to.. But I hope it would do.. Oh well, Its just me who's making things hard anyways.. so I think the hoping needs to be paired with the "I have to.." line.. so.. Let's see how things will go on from here.. Anyways, I'll go back to sleep.

The long 3 days for our days off has already reached its end. Tomorrow's gonna be like the usual days of work again. Do I still have to expect something different? Even though I'm short on my budget, I've decided to buy a replacement for my earphones. Something that will cover my ears to prevent anything that my heart doesn't want to hear anymore. I'll just see to it that my phone's battery doesn't run out of charge on that full 9 hrs of work. I went out a while ago to buy my meds and some snacks to eat for tonight. On my way home, I decided to drop by at the salon to have my hair done. I dunno if its 2 weeks ago or a month ago when I last went there for a haircut. And the one thing that my friends there noticed in me was the drop that happened to my body. I don't know how to say it but i'm a bit of a chub before. I just can't picture how big my body lost because of not eating anything much plus the thinking a lot and sleeping somehow late before...

After what I had on my previous post.. I think, something is really going to change. I dunno how to assess myself anymore. As I can see it now, I'm still trapped with my past as if everything just happened yesterday which makes the feeling still fresh and I think I am really loosing part of my identity. I don't know how to act or even face everything now. I know, all of these happenings now are all my fault. Unconsciously, I am making things hard for me which makes me the only one being hurt in the end. I'm surprised to know that until now, the message that I made last July 7 last year is still saved on my phone. It was the I think the day before I was single again. "An end into something must not be taken literally.. Behind that word lies something deeper. It is something to hold on.. It is something that will make you feel that you're still alive. It may be hard to start life again.. But this will be the measure of how tough you had become. An end is just a begin...

Maybe they are just really a bunch of so insensitive people! I can't blame them if they are so damn happy for that person having a very cool love story now but hey.. can you just even give me some piece of your sensitivity or even just that smallest piece of consideration that I AM JUST AROUND THE CORNER?! I know that its almost been a year but yes, life still sux! and this I think will still continue even more! Sorry if this happened to be my loooongest time of moving on compared to the other relationships that I had. But can you blame me if this happened to be the case?! I had really been hoping for me not hear such things whenever I'm at the office, but how can I just prevent my ears from hearing and stopping my heart to not absorb all of it!? I know, that may sound selfish. But can you just let me be selfish for just that one thing?! You know why its hard for me?! Can you really say that people can understand why I'm still like this!? Do you know that what I am feeling ...

I think I'm beginning to feel outdated already. There were a lot of things that I am not doing anymore, one of these are accepting those online jobs. Having these sidelines became a topic with my office mates.. Well, glad to hear that other than them talking about all those love stories that they are currently having, where in I obviously don't want to mix in, they somehow made a different talk about earning extra. Yeah, I've been having a hard time now talking to them. Anyways, this is a piece of another story, let's just talk about it later or on my next posts. They learned that oDesk is giving its providers a lot of bucks just by doing some assignments. I am a member of the site but haven't earned a single cent yet. I just don't want to idea of the hourly basis or the fact that I have to allocate hours for another work while I'm at home. But things on my head started to change. Yes, my team mates ask me to "hunt" for some team project over oDesk...

Its already 7:30PM and it seems like I've been so idle today. I got bored and so lazy. This day is just so gloomy. I can't even stay up so long playing RO. And posting another survey on my Multiply doesn't even changed anything. I do surveys on my Multiply when I got really bored. But come on! what's with this day that I am feeling so.. sad.

I got sick again. Well it actually started, I think, yesterday when I got home, I felt uneasy because of the not so ordinary body temp that I was feeling that time. I went to bed and rest for a while, but then my body started to feel weak. I looked for some meds but found no Ingat Tablet . And that was just so bad. I can't get out of the house coz it was raining so hard outside, one thing more that i started to hate also. Thinking that what I felt will just go down naturally after sleep, I was wrong. I can't even move my body when I first woke up. I still have to move myself slowly just to be able to get up. So what do you think is happening to me now? Deim.. -- Oh well, I think the rain doesn't have any plans of stopping. Every now and then its getting stronger and stronger. Its almost been 3 days straight since it started raining this hard! It could have been fine if its only the water falling, but adding some blast of wind, things are just so worst. I was supposed to see...