Rashid Bums Out

Just happened to read j3's post.. and it made me realize the things that had happen over the past year of my life. MBS TEK CORPORATION. Its already been a year when i first stepped into this firm. Reminiscing all the hard works, the struggles, the changes.. now, it had made all things better. Our immediate supervisor way back when we were still at bicol is now our department head, the rest of the pioneers in our group became team leaders of their respective teams, and the rest of my subordinates, including me, where distributed to those teams. Working over for a year had given me fruits that really helped me in nourishing my family.i may not yet tasted the real sweetness of it but the thought of supporting them in the least that i can give is more satisfying. CUPID'S TALE. The most critical phase is over. 6 months, 2nd to the longest time being involved in a relationship, next to the 3 years that i spent. Thinking of these things now, i must accept that its harder now to keep a...

Yeah. I've said that i'll be moving but since i can't really hook myself up.. i haven't updated any.. Really just can't have time to settle everything here online.. haha.. lack of precious time to do something on here.. i'll just get you all posted whenever.. whatever.. oks? that's for now.. :P

i'll be moving soon.. be under nels' domain.. and soon.. my site's gonna be http://kravre.flirt-wind.net .. :D just check it out for some updates.. its not yet up now.. still looking for some layouts that may fit.. so.. new home.. new everything.. i'll be up again for some new friends here online.. so.. let's just catch each other out! :D Powered by ScribeFire .

Its tuesday! what else! came from work. went home. set things up and got ready to rest. was with di for a couple of hours and thats it. boredom strikes! felt hunger so went out to eat. went for a stroll first.. going to anywhere my feet lead me. went to by some stuff and ended up at mcdo for a burger, fries and float. then felt the need to go and drop by to a cafe. then here i am posting! got to pass by at nels' site. thought of asking him to host me for my new blog. really don't hav time to resolve the issues here in the new blogger settings. my mind just can't concentrate well on thinking bout that. i give it all up to their stuff to do the job. hehe. if permitted, changes will occur.. gonna start from scratch again and do the stuffs. have to let my thoughts out for a while. what else? i do hope that nels will be so kind enough to lend me some space on his domain.. that's all i'm wishin ayt now. hehehe..

I'm a lil hungry now. nweiz, i've been updating my items lately and sooner we'll be receiving POs again.. Last weekend of July. Sooner.. no more weekends for me to spend. heck.. m not really thinking about that seriously am I?! Just that i got used to it already. But, that's it. there's nothing more that i can do to that. He really must have time to other people as well.. specially to those family that he was telling. Moving. Guess we'll have to move again to another place. Houses are starting to pop out in the lot side of our house. sooner.. it would look like a squatters area. No kidding.. i dunno but we are to expect 40 houses.. with 15 sq. m. each.. just really don't know how big the lot is.. maybe exactly 600sq. m. less or more.. now planning to move. and having to consider 3 options. One, move together, the three of us.. ta'Lou, me and aris. Two, moving the three of us, and sooner with k'Steve. Three, the swapping. Di will be with us then ta...

Am i over reacting? I think not. Its just my one way of contemplating.. Weh.. that's really nothing. I'm starting to get things over on me now. Not to get affected anymore. The hell they are.. hehe.. Everything's just fine. i suppose. It should be. He did. He taught me what i knew now. He made my insights differ from what i believed in. Making things clear? Its not like another used to be being with him. He's just doing it the simpliest way with the brightest meaning. August. I'm thinking. How will it be. Less the weekends together. Less the time sleeping with someone to embrace the whole of me. Less the.. heck.. what else! But.. yeah, more time for personal rants. Avoiding myself to pour all the time to him, for my world to revolve around him.. Getting away from my boring life as what he describes my life now. Personal rants. Things to cover up the "to be missing". Thinking of the "to-do-list" on a weekend rather than staying at home and kill ti...

Post directly from a window of Mozilla.. hehe.. Not actually opening the Site anymore.. Cool! hmm.. this will surely be a sample post now.. Hope this work coz the first time i posted here.. it was published.. but when i checked the edited one.. it didn't showed up.. hmm.. So how am i after a long time of not posting? hehehe.. been discovering what add ons in mozilla do.. and i ended up learning things.. and realizing that Its great using Mozilla.. hehe.. Powered by ScribeFire .

got to spare some time for posting.. hehe.. its been so very often when i get back here and post.. reaching quotas just eats time a lot.. heheh.. btw.. thanks for those who manged to drop by.. :D though i'm really not always here.. anyways.. i'm seeing pages again.. blog pages to be in particular.. and it started me to feel envied again for the layout that they are using.. haaayy.. just that i'm using the new version of blogger which is really hard in replacing its layout into a premade one.. if only there's someone who is knowledgeable on that.. :p or another resort is that.. going back to the old version then place a layout.. hmm.... what do you think is better? heheh.. recap for what happened..? had i posted that i was shifted to 12-9AM for the first 2 weeks of June? well yeah.. i was.. and that really made may salary a bit too low last payday.. minus the 3 hours night defferential is sooo... but then i'm back to my original schedule.. 9pm-6am.. but the result wa...

it's been over a month.. and i guess.. everything seemed to turn out very well between us.. in a month.. we've been through a lot already.. that may not count too much but it did took part in making our bond tighter.. now.. i dunno.. "behind those tears....di mo alam ang iba pang rason kung bakit.." i know what's he's been up to on tellin me that.. and i don't know what to be done about that.. i know.. i'm not as expressive as he can see.. and that's what he's been using towards me.. against me.. he keeps on making several ways for me to believe that what he's showing me is true to the point that its being difficult for him.. BUT.. in the first place.. he don't have to prove to me anything anymore coz i do believe in him.. what i'm worried about is what he sees in me.. making him think that i am not satisfied of what he's been showing me.... how this all started..? again.. because of me.. he may always tell me that its not my fa...

here's some another post.. :D got this time posting for the POS is still currently unavailable.. got a lot of overtimes that really gave me a lot of sleepless days.. yeah.. days and not nights.. hehe.. really felt some kind of bad for i'm committing accidental errors.. mistyped some years.. and maybe having no sleeps adds up to that as a factor.. btw haven't got my weekend breakfast with that friend that i told you at my previous post.. overtime started last weekend that made me stay here all week til now.. still have no time to roam around.. but our team just planned to have an out of town activity.. hehe.. and that would be on may 6..:D can't wait.. :D

3 days now.. we're now here at pasig.. really had a lot of changes.. environment.. people and all.. what remained the same were the people that i used to work with.. and our time scheds of course.. :p haven't really had a time roaming the place yet.. maybe this weekend.. someone invited me for a breakfast then maybe we'll go places.. had live tasks again.. and that's the only thing we are doing here.. well not for me for now.. coz here i am posting.. hehe.. hope this will be just fine.. hmm.. no more music and free browsing.. its all disabled.. that's what we are acting on right now.. to fight against being sleepy.. hehe..

a lot happened over the weekend.. but i'm just not in the modd to talk it over right now.. nweiz.. we were given a 1 week extension.. so that's why i'm still here in Bicol.. we'll be leaving for Manila by Saturday.. new environment.. new people.. new life.. new everything.. hope i can cope up with all of these changes without any problems.. haay.....

it might be settled now.. we are now off to manila by monday.. the company will be sending us there.. haay.. i don't think i can still post that often.. but nweiz.. i'll always keep you guys posted.. :D

was suppose to go home after breakfast.. but suddenly i felt the need to go online and have this posted.. really have a mix of thought and emotion right now.. both from what's happening right now and from the series that i've been watching lately.. say.. being asked if.. "is it ok..?" of course you'll say.. "yes..", "its ok..", "its just fine.." now.. what i'm trying to point in here out is the two sides behind these statements.. automatically one will say "ok" without even thinking twice.. but then you'll soon realize that.. "hey.. how come its permitted? if its possible for one.. why don't they let all go!?" if the talking can do it all.. why can't they make that happen?! we do all know what's to be considered.. they even sent the others even though they are to face the situation which they are telling us now.. its not being narrow minded or anything synonymous to that.. but if you are to thin...

what if you saw a notebook falling which look like this..? From RashidOnline Blog Pics would you still pick it up after knowing that this could actually kill..? i've been watching the series lately.. and its all about how justice is being laid on our hands.. if you do have the power to exterminate all those criminals by your own will.. would you do that for justcice's sake..? or you would still let the formal procedures do it..? yeah.. it will lessen criminal acts.. but will it be too much to judge someone's life..? well.. do watch it also.. Death Note.. hehe.. so what happened last weekend..? slept all saturday night.. and unexpectedly was invited by some friendly neighbor for a swim..:p it was actually my first time to jam with some of these people.. though it was only a dip.. it was really fun! hehe.. now we're planning to do it every weekends.. going to any resort or beach if possible..:D this would really be fun and a time to know my neighbors more.. hehe..:D got t...

i visited our house.. it was almost finished.. walls all cemented.. roof which are not nipas anymore.. though the expansion's not yet done.. somehow it can now be called a home.. lately.. whenever i go there to see the development.. i ended up thinking about things that i know i shoudn't be thinking of.. but.. almost everything that was used there came from me.. and that made me sacrifice my monthly wage.. i'm not suppose to be doing that.. but what else can i do.. i'm the only one left for the house to be constructed again.. what about my mum and dad..!? duhh.. they will only tell me that they are not capable of doing those stuff anymore.. the both of them are now dependent to their partners.. so what can we, the children expect.. love..? care..? support..? yeah.. i will never have any problems with my mum.. but as for our dad.. it's going to be another story.. soon we'll be moving back there.. there where memories were made to fade.. can't help but to reme...

well.. that really is sooo.. >>> for those who had watched the movie.. you'll know.. :D watched this in a dvd last Sunday.. (And its just now that i remembered this to post.. :p) well nweiz.. Have you ever felt being incomplete? i do.. many times that i've asked myself.. "What's been missing.?" but i can't hardly find an answer.. and this really is affecting the whole of me.. it's always been in my mind.. having this related on that movie.. Derby there.. a character played by Sam can't just find its match because of the missing piece in his life.. his family.. then now going back to me.. its somehow similar to what's happening to me right now.. or should i say.. happening to me these past months.. til now.. i've been with people.. whom i met thru random texting.. online groups.. common friends.. thinking that God will give me someone that will perfectly fit with me.. but then.. everything seemed to fail.. longest on the record was a mo...

just finished reading the comments on my previous post.. and i do admit.. i may had been so harsh on posting that.. hmm.. i didn't even went home last weekend.. and stayed for two days with my friend.. and about mum.. i think she knew why i've done that.. some rebel act.. nweiz.. thanks for the comments.. it somehow made my mind clear towards that.. and i'm trying to act as normal as i can be whenever i'm at home.. haay.. it would take time again.. now.. what i'm facing is.. my kind of job that i'm havin right now.. *sigh* after 2 weeks.. i don't know whom i will be with.. waah..... still can't tell more about the details.. just wanted to make it safe though.. waah.. i feel so blank again.. be back to edit tis later.. [EDIT] what else am i to add.. hmm.. weekend's been an "All Sleep" with Dad.. (Pheng..) nothing's new.. still doing the routines of my life.. haay.. such boring life i have don't i..? i'm thinking of changing the l...

i really don't know how to react on this.. my mom might be having another child.. i dunno if i'll be happy and excited.. or the other way around.. went home yesterday.. and there was mum at home.. we were talking, together with a cousin, about what happened to our neighbor who happened to had a new born child who only lasted for a day.. i really felt sad.. about what happened to the baby.. but later on.. mum told me that i shouldn't worry coz maybe by october.. there will come a new baby at home.. shocked.. really.. i hate to admit this but.. i don't want her to bear another child anymore.. we were four.. and now three.. and the youngest is almost on his way to college.. then now she's gonna tell me that she have to be going to an OB to have it be checked.. wth! of all what happened to us.. in our family.. i've always been in her side.. though i know that she did some mistakes too.. but then though were not staying together now.. i can't really get mad at he...

now at my 15 mins break.. we are still stucked up here at Legazpi.. never had we heard about the manila issue since they went off.. i don't know if i'm just the one puzzled about this matter.. but.. what's really going to happen next on us here..? hmm.. but coming to think about this all.. since we have still the job with us.. we don't have to worry.. all we have to do is to improve the quality of our job.. *sigh* but still that doesn't made me feel easy.. so.. air pressure in the corners..? now lowering.. we do tasks.. they do their's.. that's it.. problems about that? nothing.. if live taks comes our way.. do it in 3 days.. then go back to training.. that's what its like in here.. still have no definite plans and actions.. still on the way of making catalogs.. so.. what's with me right now these days?! nothing new.. same routine.. go to work.. eat breakfast.. go home.. sleep.. watch anime in the afternoon.. prepare.. thn eat dinner.. go to work aga...

part of me as an empath's still active.. i still am being tuned onto emotions.. though its from a far away distance.. proof? like what happened last tuesday early morning.. felt unseasy.. and thought of asking people if they're fine.. actually i have someone in mind that time.. them.. there i knew.. he's really not that fine.. which somehow affected me in some unexplainable reason.. nweiz.. something's really happening.. we now don't know if we're still be following to manila because of what's been happening in here.. some complicated things which are better not to be discussed here.. haay.. really not sure on how am i to act towards these all.. i do still want to think in a positive way but.. heck.. still.. its all up to what's gonna happen next..

I Juz want the days pass by.. and see what happens..

There is much to be learned from conflict and trial -- after all, high pressure makes diamonds, right? It might not please you to know that the next twenty-four hours may be a bit stressful, but after this day is over, you will be a better person. Not every day can be a breeze, and going through a rough patch will make you all the more appreciative when you encounter smooth sailing again -- and this will happen much sooner than you think. Capricorn horoscope for March 1 i was juz reading that.. then few minutes later.. our boss had us for a conference over YM regarding our perfomance at work.. i really don't know what to feel after that.. we've been given 1 week for improvements.. and they'll base it from there if we are to be brought to manila.. juz really wanted to cry at this point.. i dunno.. sort of two times the ouch.. i don't want to leave the company.. i juz don't want to.. well.. one might tell that its only because of one person.. but.. it will be so diffi...

firstly.. it's mum's burdey today!^^ haven't bought her a gift though yet..^^ it was last night.. when i saw this hanging on this jeepney that i rode in going here at the office.. From RashidOnline Blog Pics that happened to be my very last gift given to youngest brother, Reu.. that really made me remenisce those memories that i used to have with him.. well anyways.. currently listening to this song.. "Feels Like Home" Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life If you knew how lonely my life has been And how long I've been so alone And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along And change my life the way you've done It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me It feels like I...

i know.. i'm starting to hurt people again.. waah.. i don't like it this way.. good thing coz some do understands but.. am i to explain things..? well maybe.. i dunno.. but evrything's happening all over again.. and i don't want this to be one of those another used to be..

so we're left here with this deafening silence.. they're off and now we're talking only through our ym.. *sigh* what's left for us to do.. training materials.. doing things better.. near perfect.. any more difference without? have no one to be with at breaks.. have no one to hug.. have no one to kiss.. as they've said.. it'll not last long.. i do hope so.. i'm missing someone.. really.. hope tis person feels better.. and feels the same way too.. hehe.. Question: Am i currently committed? i don't think so.. no.. i'm not.. i'm hangin out with somebody but it doesn't mean that i'm into that.. maybe that's why i can't hardly tell what i feel towards the person.. Reason: I'm still makin myself reserved for someone else.. And I've already told tis person that i'll always be.. and i'll be waiting.. i mean it.. i even had waited for almost 3 months before.. why can't i do it now..? sure hope everything fall into place....

they started packing up things now.. they're really off to manila by tomorrow.. well.. without gid yet.. for he's following them there by sunday.. had some little conversation a while ago about what would be like when all is left here is us.. hmm.. everything would be fine.. juz that we'll be having some adjustments.. well.. we'll be following them there soon.. and that' s what we all are thinking now.. soon.. anyways.. still lookin for more blogmates..^^ have to build this thing up again.. help!^^ Top Gun. juz happened to watched it a while ago with mum at home.. hmm.. this now really made me think.. having this life that i have now.. i don't think it fits me.. well.. i do had a lot of good experience though but still.. a lot has been missing.. this i juz realize.. or should i say.. i've always been thinking about it.. i'm having this kind of personality which sometimes bothers me.. here.. i loved playing Warcraft.. even movies like The Lord of the Ring...

i'm really happy of what i am seeing now here on my blog.. too bad only for i still don't know if my previous blog will still be fixed by mika.. well anyways i added some affy's and some links.. i even have now my feed! hehe.. now i understand what they are for..^^ so.. i've added a lot on my navy.. but still looking for more link exchange! so people! let's exchange links!^^ i also made some edits on my previous post.. added some posts from blogchex.. so anyways.. today's friday.. by tomorrow some of them here at the office will be moving to manila.. i'm really now thinking how will it be like without them here.. after 3 weeks maybe we'll be following them.. hope we do.. but that a lot of time to wait.. so.. still don't have plans for weekend.. maybe i would juz be staying home.. or might go back to nabua for some visit.. still don't know really..

i'm back! now i'm using again blogger.. my previous blog's still not up.. and i'm reffering to http://kravre.solitary-cross.net .. started also bloggin at http://www.blogchex.com/kravre but when i started customizing my side navi.. i happened to pass by these feeds which are not yet known to me.. really.. so i checked blogger to know that they do offer feeds.. knew this thing coz of the blogs that i've seen.. and one thing more.. blogger updated a lot and that's great! so user friendly..^^ i'm now enjoying here again..^^ so.. anyways.. think i'll be managing 2 blogs for now.. the ones at blogchex and here.. so you guys better check them out.. one problem is.. i still have to scatter my link.. repost this again for them to be onformed that i moved links again.. haay.. really don't know where to go.. i signed to blogchex for some extra income.. posted several posts there.. and now i'll be concentrating here..^^ still have to edit my side navi here...