Rashid Bums Out

I'm halfway there.. Maybe I'm right.. Maybe I'm wrong.. Emotions can really get through you.. It can either make you strong.. or weak.. and even weaker.. People say.. I'm so sensitive.. At times, even over sensitive.. I learned.. That it isn't just a trait.. It is actually me.. Now I'm trying.. Learning on how to control it.. To make it easy as just to turning it ON or OFF.. I know.. Being one can make.. But being one can also break.. Things might be so complicated.. That's why I want to understand it.. Even if it needs me to go branch by branch.. I've always been me.. Might be wearing masks at times.. But it just breaks easily.. If I'm mad, I'm mad.. If I'm sad, I'm sad.. What you see is what you get.. I don't have to create a face.. Different to what I truly feel.. In front of those who knows me well.. But maybe there are still a lot.. A lot to know.. A lot to learn.. Anyways, I'm almost there.. I may meet anyone.. They might me...

I got myself sick again.. Stuck at home taking in these meds.. Its been 2 days already.. and I don't know if I can still make it.. This isn't what I wanted.. Everything's so fucked up.. Now, I want to make an escape.. Far, too far from everything.. Things aren't the same anymore, I know. "People change, so do I.." Just like the breeze.. It came by so lightly.. swiftly.. I'm longing.. who doesn't? I wanted to feel the warmth.. a hug perhaps, or even just a shoulder to lean on.. But is it still possible? I've been looking.. What comes to mind.. nothing.. no one.. Tears doesn't seem to think twice.. It doesn't even hold back.. It just pours down.. who cares anyways? Shivering.. I wanted to be numb.. Coldness envelops me.. And my heartbeat's fading slowly.. I'm on my way now.. Leading this solitary path.. Down the road.. With unfamiliar faces.. There's no one there.. Who knows me well.. The depths in me.. Everything of me.. Maybe I ...

I know right, i hate that title post but its what I think is fitting for this post. I'm not gonna dig in about that song.. I just really so hate it.. why? read the lyrics.. you'll know! Anyways, there are still people reading my blog.. nice to know.. the old ones, and there are also the new ones.. But I hope you're not getting tangled up by the posts that you're reading.. It sometimes doesn't concern you but it's always been about me.. Someone told me.. keep a journal of how you feel for the day and not of what you did, that way.. you'll grow as a person. I'm trying. Sometimes its just hard for me to blog everything out. Sometimes I thought that I'll just keep everything to myself. But most of the time, I tend to blurt it out without thinking how this will affect the readers. But again I'm gonna tell you this, this only contains my side of the story. This is how I think and how I see things. Tears ran down yesterday, can't help it. I just dun...

And yes.. they are really giving me this Someone-they-call-Tuko like kind of treatment at the office.. Am I beginning to be air-headed too?! Or.. Is it maybe because I didn't attend the wedding plus the fact that I've got nothing to write down on to that card because I really don't know what to write because of the bitterness in me towards that thing? or is it because of what happened when Tugang shared with me the pictures of the office's Sportsfest which I don't want to see anymore because of who I saw there and giving them a "FUCK!" reaction? Had I become so cold out of pain which made them become so fed up of me, got enough of me and got tired of me? Or is it because I was already been DUMPED & REPLACED by the group for they already welcomed "a NEW member" to THEIR FAMILY? It can't be helped, because of what's happening.. maybe I'll just have to let things be. I already lost someone who happened to be my life. I was moving on,...

Here I go again having an unstable mind and a disorganized line of thoughts about something. This whole day, I mean yesterday's whole day, since its all ready 4AM, just had my head so occupied by things which I'm not sure of. I'm bragging about what's right to do on things that I wanna do because I'm scared of making mistakes again. Scared that I might be wrong again.. that I myself is still a mistake. Giving deductions to things after being so distressed is still making me.. weak. And thinking of what's the rightmost thing to do now makes me so helpless. I know that somehow, I can still find my right kind of wrong but.. does this always have to torment me every time I'll gonna make a wrong one be good and right? Maybe what I'm afraid of is rejection, maybe that's why I'm afraid of doing things right even if i know its right all along. But Perspective varies among different minds. What is right to some may be wrong for others, and it goes on and ...

Is feeling sleepy at work.. >.< Got myself hit the sack at around 1:30AM this morning. So really lazy to do things. Good thing because I manage to finish all my pending tasks this morning. Hmm.. I just have to wait for the other bunch of files to come and do the findings. (2 hours later) Just had my powernap! haha! and somehow i'm half? awake! lolz! Still waiting for the file to be finished on their side though. I just hope I could get outta here early immediately after work, I still have to drop by at Megamall to pick up my new glasses. I just hope I can get a good night sleep later to prevent this kind of sleepy experience again.. haha! Anyways.. I'm now owning The Atrium one after the another! lmao! Don't dare mess with me there! hahaha! Me, baby Rye and Arashi went out yesterday. These two school boys just really wanted to go out coz school is killing them already.. haha! Midterms, Prelims and all! Since yesterday was a holiday, again, thanks to Tita Cory, we went...