Rashid Bums Out

And that's what I'm doing. Christmas, New Years and my birthdays had always been the hardest times for me. And this year's holidays was even harder than the usual hardest. My family's not going to be here on Christmas and New Year as well. So this is going to be my 2nd time spending the holidays without them. It's sad, I know. But compared to my first experience of spending it alone, this one's gonna be a bit easier for me now. So what's gonna be my plan? I don't know if I'm gonna be staying at home on the 24th, but I think I'll be with Ukiya and Krno while waiting for Santa. Though I'm not really so sure because I'm still being so shy with just the thought of spending it with their family. Loolz! What I'm going to think of next will be the New Year's eve. And that I remember. I always love watching fireworks display here in our neighborhood. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to watch it here or I will be in a different pl...

Otakuzine Guild of Luna Online at the Hero Nation event! ^^ If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

This Tumblr pic from Mina really caught my attention. And since this is the 100th post for this year, let's make it a topic! It's been a long time already that I happened to lose my missing pair. I guess, it would just be easy to replace it but what makes it difficult is to be looking for a pair that will match up pretty well. It's sad to be alone. Just looking at the photo will let you feel how it is to be one. But there's nothing we can do if God is not yet finished in writing the best love story for us. Looking for it is just an unexplainable thing. You'll try searching, get tired, give it all to fate, then you'll gonna feel something, then you'll try to follow that feeling, making things right, hoping that things would get well but in the end, you're still not sure if it's the one. Let's see, I hope this is not going to be misinterpreted by some. Me being single doesn't mean that I'm still hooked with someone in my past. Just to spell...

Hmm, not always the case.. or should I say, might be commonly the case but would not likely to happen to all, right? Watched the series for the second time, and it still did not fail to make me feel those emotions that each of the characters portray. I can see myself in them, can relate to their story and even cry on scenes that are really heart whelming, reason for me to make it one of my favorite! I don't want to close my mind thinking that everything will eventually end because of the harsh path that one has to follow. Just like Misaki and Akihiko, I would rather go on through that harsh path. It may seem pretty odd to people around you, but as long as you know how to make things right, I think, there will never be a single reason to end something that you will believe to last forever. Haaay.. I wonder when will I be rewatching this series again. Haha! Hmm, let's see..what if I open a new site doing posts of the animes which I recently watched, episode per post type of thing...

Tumblr Pic for tonight..^^ Got this from Mina ! XD If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

  So true nowadays! looolz!   If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

Still got nothing to do.. hahaha! browsing some tumblr pics! looolz! Ambenta pramis! haha! If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

Oha oha! Yan ang banat! Winner! hahaha! Got that on Tumblr.. loolz! If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

If you have an account on Facebook, why not make a Paypal Wishlist that can make you earn up to $100. Even if you still don't have your own Paypal Account, they will surely deposit all of your earnings to your account as soon as you got yourself a Paypal account. This Facebook and Paypal partnership can really give us all a happy and merry Christmas soon, all we just have to do is to make our very own Paypal Wishlist on Facebook, then share it to all of your friends! Pretty simple right? So if I were you, do it now! here's the link . Let's do this! Now na! Share your Wishlists and let us all earn together! Merry Christmas! UPDATE! After 10 minutes, I already got $3! Cool, right?   If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

I've been looking on this postcard which is on my workstation right now. If only love can be shared like this.. *sigh* If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

    How I just wished that these scars were made from that blade, but unfortunately, I just got them from doing the laundry. I walked home from work, and had lots of "suicidal" thoughts ran through my mind, non-stop. Wishing that a car would hit me, someone would stab me, an accident would drive into me and everything alike. I just wanted fate to end up my life. This may sound crazy knowing that the person you knew of me has this kind of thinking inside my mind. My real friends might kill me as soon as they read this, I would love to. They see me as someone who can stand up straight and fix every mess that comes, but what they don't know is, I'm just always letting fate decide of what's gonna happen next. Walking alone made me clear things about myself, I'm reckless and hopeless. I'm not of any help to my family lately, I'm not a good friend anymore, having no growth as an employee as well. Maybe my dad is right to call me "inutil" , well at...

If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

"Bawal makipag-usap kay Rashid ang mga mabababang level" -Jeremy If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

If you find Whispered interesting, why not subscribe to its Posts RSS ? Do it now! ^^

Day 2 of the week and I'm just getting more depressed. Walked halfway home again after work. Things really can't get away my head that easy. Still, our office is the most loneliest place on Earth for me. So just to recover from being deep-soaked in sadness, indulgence is a must! That's what I had after having dinner, I'm getting used to having cake with tea now. What I had a while ago was Kohee's Black Forest Cake and Cinnamon Apple flavored Stash tea. I really didn't care about how much I'm gonna pay, I'm more concerned about myself being drowned again from those tears that I shed late this afternoon at work. I was hurt and even though I don't clearly understand it, it really made me emotionally unstable. I know people are concerned but are you now telling me that we're in totally different levels right now, reason for us to break up like this? So am I to conclude now that what's really happening right now is the kind of treatment that...

I received a call early this evening from a firm who found my profile on a certain job hunting site. She introduced to me their company, interviewed me and explained to me the position that she thinks will fit for me. I had her questions answered and she told me that she'll be back to call me again in a few. After a little while she called and told me that I did not qualified for the position that she offered me earlier. This just really left me disheartened. What just happened made me realize some things. I'm not really blind about it but reaching this point where in skills are being looked upon, my mind is starting to wonder and ask, "Is there growth for me here?" After work, I walked for a while, contemplating on what just happened. The skills that I have now doesn't even matched the one they're looking for. They're actually looking for someone who can do things manually, can compute finances with understanding, that's why they need it to be done ma...

Curiosity just had the whole of me, so I tried making my domain use the custom domain publishing option of Blogger, then here it is! Just finished fixing the DNS and CNAME records with the help of my domain provider. New layout at last and its just pretty simple. Still have to do some things though, so I'm gonna leave this up first in a while while trying to figure out some redirecting issues.. later! ^^ Ooops! btw, I'm gonna ask for your links again for my blog list.. if you happen to drop by, please write me a comment of your link so that I can add'em up! thanks! ^^

I'm beginning to believe that, I'm loosing friends because I'm becoming so bad.. It's like, what I've become was the worst for some people. And now I'm wondering, is this still the real me? Or maybe, it's really hard for them to accept the kind of me that I've become. Last week I watched Kimi ni Todoke's 4th episode, Rumors. This just really got me that I have to blog it out. Misunderstanding became its theme, And Sawako's character gave me a view from a different perspective. I don't know if I can still be called as their friend. How long has it been? 2 months? almost 3 months? I'm already less of a friend to them and is just a mere someone who's scared to make new friends again. "You change for 2 reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to" I would rather go for the latter. I didn't intend to disappoint those people around me of who I have become but what appears ...

I'm starting to learn how to live life without worrying much. I don't want myself to suffer again about things that will not really help me grow up. It's still always better to cling on happiness rather than drowning yourself in sadness. When Ondoy hits our country, Ozine made a step of helping the affected people through voluntary works and by gathering donations. The happiness that I felt on helping those typhoon victims is immeasurable. It's a different feeling, a different kind of happiness that one can feel. Plus the fact that the people who you are with are also your friends that are also willing to help. The feeling of happiness that time is just.. overflowing. I'll be facing a new kind of life soon. Still unsure of what will this lead me but as long as I'm happy.. I know this will not fail me. I'm starting to do things that I am enjoying. And I think I will be enjoying this more when that time comes. Kinda excited, yes. Because finally I got to learn...

I want to see it clearly.. Things that I really want.. Or even those things that I didn't knew that I wanted.. It's just that.. lately.. I've been wanting a lot of things now.. And we all know what's WANT and NEED right? Well here it goes.. What surprised me were these two things that suddenly popped out on my mind when I was at the bus going home. "I want to own a car, and to have a billboard of me over there.." Can you just imagine that?! I mean.. that will always remain as a dream right?! I mean the billboard thing! C'mon! Reality.. hello! hahaha! Just to remind myself.. never did I wanted to own a car before and even to have a billboard of me hanging anywhere! So those were just 2 of my most surprising thoughts I had lately. For the "MORE REALISTIC" ones.. I think, I'll be making a confession here. I've been idolizing "some" people lately. I've learned that these cool guys are really those whom I want to look up to. By...

Just finished watching the final episode of 07-Ghost's season 1 a while ago and thought of doing something like this. This just really became one of my favorites so far. It's mostly about how strong your will is when it comes to standing by those people you cared the most. About how to to know what's just about something that you want to believe in. About the truth that has many forms as there are people. Now, just how will you be giving meaning on this 3 pics posted above? Reading (the subtitles) only just that would really make you think. Well, it just depends on how you interpret it though. It's all about growing up, being not just that stupid brat but to who you had become. I dunno, but as what people say, when you lose something, you'll gain something better. And maybe, I think I'll just have to believe in that. Though I still really don't see what that gain is.. I'll just think positive about that. For those who are watching this series.. "Sea...

Because it became my habit to be still be up until 2AM, here's what I've done! haha! Editing some pics using Picasa 3! Oh well.. Happy that this day didn't turned out really bad. Somehow, I enjoyed the day through these pics..^^

What's the biggest shot? The Office. I finally named it my "Loneliest place on Earth" and hell yeah, so true! I now only go to the office for plain work and to super patiently wait for the clock to hit 4PM or until all my tasks are done, then go. Looks so boring right? Nice it may seem if I'm pretty much busy, so this made me somehow loved Tuesdays, Wednesdays and even Saturdays, since these days are the busiest days of my week, but hell to Thursdays and Fridays! These are just the damn wicked days which really kills me to death! Days that at most of the time, I'm doing nothing! So the pain is there, the sadness is there, sometimes, even tears are there.. just say, c'mon! what else could you ask for! I'm lonely and so much broke! I'm not really hiding it. You may see me smile at times, laugh at times, but that doesn't mean that I'm fine. I'm even thinking of leaving.. again. A thought that was already been with me months back. And its comin...

Sharing something that someone shared me.. I know this is something that you may hear on some churches.. but I don't mind.. It's nice eh.. try listening to it.. you'll know..^^ FM Static Dear God Dear God I wrote this letter, To put my thoughts on paper, Sometimes life seems like a criminal, Without a well planned caper I know Youre the answer, But I forget the question, How do I know You love me, When no one else, seems to care Ive tried everything I thought, Might help me understand things, And it didnt tell me anything, Or even play my heart strings So Im writing You this letter, To wait for Your reply, I am so tired, of not believing, Ill give You a try I dont know, but I got this feeling, That todays gonna be my turning point, Everyday I get a little bit closer, It feels so good to finally be over I dont know, but I think Im learning, This type of thing, Never been my calling card, Sometimes you just gotta look closer, Instead of searchin so hard So when I start to get...

Just for share.. kinda relates to the current "what's going on with me" now.. Enjoy the music coz I enjoyed it a lot! ^^ David Choi I Can Get Used To This I kept all of my feelings locked inside of me, Finally found someone to trust with everything, Oh I try so hard always to be a man, But right now I just, I can't understand how I can't control. Oh, I think love's got a hold on me. [Chorus: ] Such a foreign feeling, but you know... I can get used to this, I can get used to this, I can get used to this now. Comfortable and feels so real, I can get used to this, Stuck in this happiness. I can get used to this now, Yeah... [Verse 2:] I think this is the first time I've ever felt like this And found someone I would never want to miss. I feel like a child, I get butterflies, Sorry this is the only way to describe. Think I'll let it go, Let this love get a hold of me [Chorus:] Such a foreign feeling, but you know... I can get used to this, I can get used to...

I'm halfway there.. Maybe I'm right.. Maybe I'm wrong.. Emotions can really get through you.. It can either make you strong.. or weak.. and even weaker.. People say.. I'm so sensitive.. At times, even over sensitive.. I learned.. That it isn't just a trait.. It is actually me.. Now I'm trying.. Learning on how to control it.. To make it easy as just to turning it ON or OFF.. I know.. Being one can make.. But being one can also break.. Things might be so complicated.. That's why I want to understand it.. Even if it needs me to go branch by branch.. I've always been me.. Might be wearing masks at times.. But it just breaks easily.. If I'm mad, I'm mad.. If I'm sad, I'm sad.. What you see is what you get.. I don't have to create a face.. Different to what I truly feel.. In front of those who knows me well.. But maybe there are still a lot.. A lot to know.. A lot to learn.. Anyways, I'm almost there.. I may meet anyone.. They might me...

I got myself sick again.. Stuck at home taking in these meds.. Its been 2 days already.. and I don't know if I can still make it.. This isn't what I wanted.. Everything's so fucked up.. Now, I want to make an escape.. Far, too far from everything.. Things aren't the same anymore, I know. "People change, so do I.." Just like the breeze.. It came by so lightly.. swiftly.. I'm longing.. who doesn't? I wanted to feel the warmth.. a hug perhaps, or even just a shoulder to lean on.. But is it still possible? I've been looking.. What comes to mind.. nothing.. no one.. Tears doesn't seem to think twice.. It doesn't even hold back.. It just pours down.. who cares anyways? Shivering.. I wanted to be numb.. Coldness envelops me.. And my heartbeat's fading slowly.. I'm on my way now.. Leading this solitary path.. Down the road.. With unfamiliar faces.. There's no one there.. Who knows me well.. The depths in me.. Everything of me.. Maybe I ...

I know right, i hate that title post but its what I think is fitting for this post. I'm not gonna dig in about that song.. I just really so hate it.. why? read the lyrics.. you'll know! Anyways, there are still people reading my blog.. nice to know.. the old ones, and there are also the new ones.. But I hope you're not getting tangled up by the posts that you're reading.. It sometimes doesn't concern you but it's always been about me.. Someone told me.. keep a journal of how you feel for the day and not of what you did, that way.. you'll grow as a person. I'm trying. Sometimes its just hard for me to blog everything out. Sometimes I thought that I'll just keep everything to myself. But most of the time, I tend to blurt it out without thinking how this will affect the readers. But again I'm gonna tell you this, this only contains my side of the story. This is how I think and how I see things. Tears ran down yesterday, can't help it. I just dun...

And yes.. they are really giving me this Someone-they-call-Tuko like kind of treatment at the office.. Am I beginning to be air-headed too?! Or.. Is it maybe because I didn't attend the wedding plus the fact that I've got nothing to write down on to that card because I really don't know what to write because of the bitterness in me towards that thing? or is it because of what happened when Tugang shared with me the pictures of the office's Sportsfest which I don't want to see anymore because of who I saw there and giving them a "FUCK!" reaction? Had I become so cold out of pain which made them become so fed up of me, got enough of me and got tired of me? Or is it because I was already been DUMPED & REPLACED by the group for they already welcomed "a NEW member" to THEIR FAMILY? It can't be helped, because of what's happening.. maybe I'll just have to let things be. I already lost someone who happened to be my life. I was moving on,...