Skip to main content

after two dayzzz...

awkie.. here i am again after 2 days.. eheh.. i haven't been online coz of last thursday.. i don't feel like going to school.. and bout yesterday.. i heard that Bayantel is upgrading their system which affected the internet connection here in our locale.. hmm.. i'm not really pretty sure of that though..





nweiz.. mah right arm doesn't feel good.. i think i still have a hangover on playin badminton yesterday.. eheh.. but its ok.. its nice that after a long time i played again.. eheh..





hmm.. about what happened on our midterms.. whaaa!!! i think we cheated on our taxation.. eheh.. hmm..?! too bad.. but we juz really need it.. eheh.. and about the discrete math.. haha.. our prof gave it as a give away exam.. huh.. yeah.. but it really doesn't look like one.. though its an open notes exam.. plus is.. she also gave us a take home midterm.. haaayyy..





i have here hmm.. juz read on..!!^^





Please Listen to What I’m not Saying





Don’t be fooled by me.

Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.

For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks.

Masks that I’m afraid to take off,

And none of them is me.





Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me.

But don’t be fooled, for God’s sake,

Don’t be fooled.





I gave you the impression that I’m secure,

That all is sunny and unruffled with me,

Within as well as without;

That confidence is my name,

And coolness’s my game;

That the weather is calm

And I’m in command, and that I need no one





But don’t believe me, please.

My surface may seem smooth,

But my surface is a mask,

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence





Beneath dwell the real me in confusion,

In fear, in aloneness.





But I hide this; I don’t want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness

And my fear of being exposed.

That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

A nonchalant, sophisticated façade,

To help me pretend,

To shield me from the glance that knows.





But such a glance is precisely my salvation,

My only salvation. And I know it.

That is, if it’s followed by love.

It’s the only thing that can liberate me

From myself.

From my own self-built prison walls,

From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect,

It’s the only thing that will assure of what I can’t assure myself,

That I’m really, worth something,

But I don’t tell you this,

I don’t care

I’m afraid to.

I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.

That you’ll laugh, and your laugh will kill me.

I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good,

And tat you’ll see this and reject me.





So I play my game,

My desperate pretending game, with the façade of the assurance without,

And a trembling child within.





And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front.





I idly chatter to you in the suave tone of surface talk.

I tell you everything that’s really nothing,

And nothing of what’s everything,

Of what’s crying within me.





So when I’m going through my routine,

Don’t be fooled by what I’m not saying,

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying,

What I’d like to be able to say,

What for survival I need to say, but which I can’t say.





I dislike hiding. Honestly’

I dislike the superficial game I’m playing

The superficial, phony game

I’d really like to be genuine

And spontaneous

And me..





===========================================





Ayan.. eheh.. nakita kou lang yan kung saan.. eheh.. nweiz.. i wasn't been able to watch gundam seed last thurs.. and even yeaterday.. whaaa!!! but about fumoffu.. haha!! i will never let a day pass w/o it!! haha!! but not on weekends.. eheh.. its getting fun!! hehe.. about slumdunk..!? is Rukawa really gay!? eheh.. xori but m not really updated about that.. but i enjoy watching sakuragi!! eheh..





nweiz.. i juz came from my former boarding house.. eheh.. simple talks.. remembering the past.. hehe.. it's been almost a year when i last got there eh.. haha.. its as if nagkita nga lang kami yesterday the way we talked kanina.. eheh.. it's fun talking to someone you didn't see for a while.. hehe.. namiss kou tuloy ang buhay boarder.. hahaha..

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Post before bedtime

This is the only day this week that I went home early after going to a mall! As in! Its because of the hunt for clothes that we are suppose to wear for our Christmas Party on Sunday. Its like.. wait.. read it one by one.. hehehe.. Monday - We went to Trinoma then SM North just only to find out that what I'm looking for will be found on Maldita (for my top) and Blue Navy (for my pants) of SM Megamall! We stayed til closing. Tuesday - We spent the whole after work time at Megamall til closing again. We went back for the girls' outfit this time and for me to get my pants at Blue Navy because it happened to be so long for me.. (eh sabi ko nga, hindi naman ako katangkaran.. sorry naman! kaya ayun, pinarepair pa.) Wednesday - Thank goodness coz I went straight home from work! Early to bed ako kahapon! as in TV Patrol palang isplak na ko! nyahahahaha! Today - Megamall then Shangrila.. Then there ends our hunt for clothes! (Buti nalang tapos na! whew!) Maybe I'll be starting t...

2 Months Later

Last post was kinda dramatic. But today's will be cut short. I'll surely get back to patch things up to where I ended up on my last entry. Right now's going on smoothly. I'm just glad that I didn't had to lose him back then.

Happy.. Birthday to me.

For those who were asking? Yes, today is my birthday. Then? My day started nicely, I waited for midnight before I hit the bed but when I was about to shut down my Duke, (by the way, Duke is the name of my EeePC) messages started to roll in one by one! And on that the very moment I thought of: "OMG! I forgot to change my status (YM) to invisible!" So what else could I do but to make a reply to each and everyone of them! Well that really didn't bothered me at all. All that I'm thinking that time was just, "Oh my.. when will this end?! I still have to sleep for I have work by 7AM!" Hahahahah! But then I, managed to be out from all of those for a while. Anyways, most of them were my officemates who were at the night shift.. so no biggy! heheheh.. And some of those who greeted me happened to be from my Ozine family! XD So as I woke up, the day just seemed to be a normal one. Cold and as usual, its still dark outside. Preparations went through then off we were to ...