Here I go again having an unstable mind and a disorganized line of thoughts about something. This whole day, I mean yesterday's whole day, since its all ready 4AM, just had my head so occupied by things which I'm not sure of. I'm bragging about what's right to do on things that I wanna do because I'm scared of making mistakes again. Scared that I might be wrong again.. that I myself is still a mistake.
Giving deductions to things after being so distressed is still making me.. weak. And thinking of what's the rightmost thing to do now makes me so helpless. I know that somehow, I can still find my right kind of wrong but.. does this always have to torment me every time I'll gonna make a wrong one be good and right?
Maybe what I'm afraid of is rejection, maybe that's why I'm afraid of doing things right even if i know its right all along. But Perspective varies among different minds. What is right to some may be wrong for others, and it goes on and on.
"More than anything, more than anyone.. I'm the one who doesn't understand myself. I've been standing still this whole time. Since that day, I haven't taken a single step forward.. I'm so pitiful, I'm so ashamed."
But then, at this instant I already realized. And I guess I just took my first step forward. Maybe from here I can go wherever I please and it all now depends on me.
"If strength begins to when you understand your weakness.. then I can still move forward."
I may be having this disoriented thoughts.. but now.. I can step out with no shame.
Good thing I listened to Mina on watching Pandora Hearts.. It really helped a lot on bringing me up again. And also to my new best friend.. we might not have known each other well enough and we haven't seen yet, but lifting me up really lessen the weight in me. Thanks.
Giving deductions to things after being so distressed is still making me.. weak. And thinking of what's the rightmost thing to do now makes me so helpless. I know that somehow, I can still find my right kind of wrong but.. does this always have to torment me every time I'll gonna make a wrong one be good and right?
Maybe what I'm afraid of is rejection, maybe that's why I'm afraid of doing things right even if i know its right all along. But Perspective varies among different minds. What is right to some may be wrong for others, and it goes on and on.
But then, at this instant I already realized. And I guess I just took my first step forward. Maybe from here I can go wherever I please and it all now depends on me.
I may be having this disoriented thoughts.. but now.. I can step out with no shame.
Good thing I listened to Mina on watching Pandora Hearts.. It really helped a lot on bringing me up again. And also to my new best friend.. we might not have known each other well enough and we haven't seen yet, but lifting me up really lessen the weight in me. Thanks.
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