And yes.. they are really giving me this Someone-they-call-Tuko like kind of treatment at the office.. Am I beginning to be air-headed too?! Or..
Is it maybe because I didn't attend the wedding plus the fact that I've got nothing to write down on to that card because I really don't know what to write because of the bitterness in me towards that thing? or is it because of what happened when Tugang shared with me the pictures of the office's Sportsfest which I don't want to see anymore because of who I saw there and giving them a "FUCK!" reaction?
Had I become so cold out of pain which made them become so fed up of me, got enough of me and got tired of me? Or is it because I was already been DUMPED & REPLACED by the group for they already welcomed "a NEW member" to THEIR FAMILY?
It can't be helped, because of what's happening.. maybe I'll just have to let things be. I already lost someone who happened to be my life. I was moving on, I was even on the point where I'm not using the things that came from him anymore.. Remember the BOX? And putting all of them there. But it seems like now I'm loosing even these people who makes up my life.
Now going to office left me with only plain work and I'm getting used to it. Maybe I just happened to be so bitter towards this LOVE THING which made everything so messed up. Hell yeah, some says my life is sad this way. But what I say is, maybe its better this way. If being with them will just hurt me.. then I'm better off alone.
But I must admit, LOVE is a beautiful thing but it happened to me as my worst nightmare. Now I'm afraid.. and I can prove it now. Someone's knocking in but I am so much afraid to open it up. Its not that I'm not ready yet coz I know if its IT but I just wanted to make sure that my feelings are true to know that I'm also into it. I don't want to just "give the favor in return" of what's been given to me because it isn't really my kind of thing. I know its wrong like that, and i don't want to make that kind of wrong be right.
It may sound that it became hard-ER for me to love again. I am now just being cautious. I value myself and I don't want to end up picking up the shattered pieces of me again.
Is it maybe because I didn't attend the wedding plus the fact that I've got nothing to write down on to that card because I really don't know what to write because of the bitterness in me towards that thing? or is it because of what happened when Tugang shared with me the pictures of the office's Sportsfest which I don't want to see anymore because of who I saw there and giving them a "FUCK!" reaction?
Had I become so cold out of pain which made them become so fed up of me, got enough of me and got tired of me? Or is it because I was already been DUMPED & REPLACED by the group for they already welcomed "a NEW member" to THEIR FAMILY?
It can't be helped, because of what's happening.. maybe I'll just have to let things be. I already lost someone who happened to be my life. I was moving on, I was even on the point where I'm not using the things that came from him anymore.. Remember the BOX? And putting all of them there. But it seems like now I'm loosing even these people who makes up my life.
Now going to office left me with only plain work and I'm getting used to it. Maybe I just happened to be so bitter towards this LOVE THING which made everything so messed up. Hell yeah, some says my life is sad this way. But what I say is, maybe its better this way. If being with them will just hurt me.. then I'm better off alone.
But I must admit, LOVE is a beautiful thing but it happened to me as my worst nightmare. Now I'm afraid.. and I can prove it now. Someone's knocking in but I am so much afraid to open it up. Its not that I'm not ready yet coz I know if its IT but I just wanted to make sure that my feelings are true to know that I'm also into it. I don't want to just "give the favor in return" of what's been given to me because it isn't really my kind of thing. I know its wrong like that, and i don't want to make that kind of wrong be right.
It may sound that it became hard-ER for me to love again. I am now just being cautious. I value myself and I don't want to end up picking up the shattered pieces of me again.
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