Day 2 of the week and I'm just getting more depressed. Walked halfway home again after work. Things really can't get away my head that easy. Still, our office is the most loneliest place on Earth for me. So just to recover from being deep-soaked in sadness, indulgence is a must!
That's what I had after having dinner, I'm getting used to having cake with tea now. What I had a while ago was Kohee's Black Forest Cake and Cinnamon Apple flavored Stash tea. I really didn't care about how much I'm gonna pay, I'm more concerned about myself being drowned again from those tears that I shed late this afternoon at work. I was hurt and even though I don't clearly understand it, it really made me emotionally unstable.
I know people are concerned but are you now telling me that we're in totally different levels right now, reason for us to break up like this? So am I to conclude now that what's really happening right now is the kind of treatment that you were giving to our old folk before? Great! At least now, I know my place.
So now tell me, how did I become the worst person? Air-headed? Bossy? Boastful? What? Someone who's already up there which made it impossible to look down to greet some "friends"? You know what's hard for me? I'm trying to be strong for myself, making it to the point that I must bear all the pain and sadness that I'm having because it just really can't go away. 3 months I think had passed, and he told me that he knew the hardship that I'm in and how sad it is to be like this, and yes, up until now, it's still true. Hoping that someday I could bear the smile that I once had but looking at it now, everything is hopeless.
you may normally see me being the tough guy, mind you, it's the only way I know to cover things up. We all know that people have their own piece of pride, and I also have a slice of it as well. It may be hard, but even though I'm portraying to be the worst person here, giving up this taste of pride, might not be easy, but can still be done. I've became so loud here in my blog about how I think about things, somehow it's an open path for things to be wrapped up but I can't force people to care. If they hated me of what I've become, then they're free to hate me but just don't blame him to be the sole person that caused me this because accept it or not all of us gave our part of me becoming like this and you to act like that.
Well anyways, naff' said. Kimi ni Todoke's new episode just went out. Maybe I just have to indulge myself watching it and making myself feel happy about the kind of friendship that I am seeing on that series. Making myself to start believing again, (yeah, sort of trivia, when I was still in college, I believed that the G-MIK cast portrayed the best friendship that could ever happen. But sad to say, the best will never happen in real life.) that real friendship only happens on screen.
To end this up, I already uploaded some pics that I still have on my phone. Lemme just share it here.
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